Saw a tall very distinguished lady today walking down the side walk in the rain with her 3 small children. One seemed to be about 5 years of age, then 3 and a new born in a stroller. All boys!!!
I looked at her and felt such compassion for her, yet something in me felt very proud of her and I didn't even know her....she had her hands full and she seemed to be totally in love with her task (3 little boys)! She was pushing the stroller with one hand, then with her other hand she was directing the 5 year old to hold the umbrella just right. It was as if every part of her body and senses were in the moment....she seemed together, protective, alert, nurturing and one of the most important things....she didn't seemed stressed in the moment at all.
As I begin to observe what kind of Mama she was....I had to ask myself "what do I look like when people are looking at me from a far off with my girls". Do I at times look stressed out, to busy, not together, unconcerned and frazzled .....or to others do I look like a perfectly fit Mother to my very busy, dependent, demanding beautiful 5 and 2 year old.
Do I look in love with the blessings that have been given to me? or do I look irritated and overwhelmed?
I often remind myself during these very challenging stages of my girls, that I must stay patient, give myself plenty of time when I'm out for any mishaps...because with Brienna there will be plenty of those....be sure to have a whole package of baby wipes anywhere we go. ...but most of all I have to remind myself the way I react and respond to my Aleia and Brienna's needs and demands I am instilling things in them that will affect them for the good or bad for the rest of their lives.
I have to ask myself am I the Mother to my children that when they grow up they will say my Mom taught me what kind of Mother not be....or am I the Mama to my girls that they will say...I want to be the best Mama ever, just like mine was to me....!
My girls are my responsibility and I want to be the best at it.
I want to make it look easy but real, in saying that sometimes real is when my clothes look like bib, I don't always have bio snacks preparred, my diaper bag is not alphabetized and I don't always have the right answer..... but at the end of night when my girls can lay down, kiss me and say I'm the best Mama ever, then I feel I did my job.
I want my responses to be kind, patient, creative, understanding and in every part of Motherhood I want to be teaching my girls what kind of Mama they want to be and not the kind of Mama they don't want to be.