Saturday, August 29, 2009
15 years ago August 27, 1994
Thursday we celebrated our 15 year Anniversary. We had a wonderful dinner at a Sea food restaurant and then took a romantic horse and carriage ride through the city of Vienna.
As you all know Charles had planned this huge surprise get away to Greece, for 3 nights and 4 days. He had been planning it for months. With everything in order, every "t" crossed and ever "i" dotted, we were to leave on the 25th of August for our blissful weekend. To my dismay I became utterly emotional and irrational, could not come to grips with leaving the baby. Still nursing, yet thinking that I would just stop cold turkey was not an option when it came to the night before leaving. I had the girls ready for Heather, all their clothes prepared, food ready and all the documents needed for her to watch them.
As I was getting our suit case ready, I could not stop crying, thinking to myself, what in the world Stacey, your husband has gone to such measures to be sure that you have a spended romantic anniversary and now your gonna blow it. Thoughts like: will he ever forgive me if I tell him I just can't go, will I regret not going to Greece with my husband, will I regret going cold turkey and leaving Brie when I wasn't ready, will Heather think I waisted her time, everyone put so much into my weekend being perfect and now I'm ruining it, ( were all in my mind)! Not being able to think rationally I sat down and talked to Charles privately and then talk to Heather privately, they both said I had to make the decision that I needed to go with what my heart was telling me....ugh!!!!! My heart, my mind, oh my I couldn't tell what was true or not, I was certainly experiencing something I never thought was real.......baby separation anxiety...WHAT ME!!!! No way! I can't believe this, come on Stacey just snap out of it. Well the morning came, I had not slept a bit, cried all night and finally decided not to go to Greece. I know I'll be apologizing to my husband for years to come for disappointing him so terribly by not being able to be strong enough to leave Brie-Brie. I'll never understand fully of what was going on in my head, emotions and heart (hormones) but I'm better now and after all, we did have a wonderful anniversary just being with one another. It is not the destination that makes love last another year but it is the consistent love, faithfulness and passion we have for one another that makes our relationship strong.....I look forward to many anniversary's to come and know that just because we didn't make it to Greece this year doesn't mean we won't get our chance another time.
Charles was so sweet to me, he said it is just the stage of life we are in right now. I'm so thankful to have spent this many years with my best friend.....My husband!